These aren't so much summaries as they are the most interesting/important parts to me. Make sure to buy the book if you want to learn more things in them I didn't mention here.
The stuff in the [brackets] are my additions.
- The Richest Man Who Ever Lived
- The Connection Algorithm
- Social Wealth
- Connect in 60 Seconds
- The Flinch
- Strangest Secret
- Every Pick Up Artist Book
- Why You're Stuck
- The Power of Who
- The Secret of Selling Anything
- Get a Life That Doesn’t Suck
- The 7 Universal Laws of Self-Help
The Richest Man Who Ever Lived: King Solomon's Secrets to Success, Wealth, and Happiness by Steven K. Scott^
“Keep wisdom at the front of your thoughts and vision. Bind it to your neck.”
- There are laws of living, ignore them at your own peril
- Always search for wisdom
- Diligence is a skill that uses persistent, smart-working effort that is planned and timely to produce excellence
- with it, you will control the situation and experience fulfillment
- Be slow to speak and guard your words
- Build people up; never tear them down.
- “Death & Life are in the power of the tongue”
- [Hook (something interesting), salt (make them want to know more), and emotional picture words (our love is like going to Wendy's, especially the frosty and desserts)]
- Anger: let go of your expectations of others and it will disappear
- Look well into things before you pick a coach or partner
- Avoid: people with lack of integrity, anger issues, fools, those who offer a lot for a little
- Look for partner or friend who is a personal success first!
- You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
- Learn to show gratefulness to others and let go of a sense of entitlement
- “One man gives freely; yet gains even more.”
- “He who refreshes others refreshes himself.”
- Giving must be practiced.
Conflict and adversity
- Fire burns away impurities to reveal the gold inside
- “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”
- Do not answer a fool in the way he attacks
- reproof a mocker is to invite insult
- “Prudent sees evil [or the weird] and hides himself, the naive go on and are punished for it”
- Desire for anything too much will bankrupt you spiritually
- Instead, focus on achievement and labor to achieve financial independence.
- And give generously to others
- No hope for lasting happiness
- Defeat pride by learning to be grateful for everything and for everyone and focus on the needs of others
- Wisdom means applying truths to your life.
- If you do not understand your behavior you’ll do it again and again.
- “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”
- “Bind wisdom to your neck, do not let it leave you.”
The Connection Algorithm: Take Risks, Defy the Status Quo, and Live Your Passions^
- Taking risks are scary, but worth it.
- Differences in your life are paper thin decisions.
- Settling -> boredom -> unhappiness
- Your goal shouldn’t be to work hard, but to live the life you want and be in control
- Connectors can help you break free
- But you must decide to connect with connectors
- Swap - you won’t become happy without making drastic changes (head to the mountains)
- Mountains - you will hate yourself, but thank yourself later (tough it out!!!), but don’t settle for stressful jobs
- Beach - your final destination, but go back to the mountains sometimes
- Doing nothing to remove undesired boundaries is a fatal decision.
- Choose (leave and go live on your own), commit (stick it out and ditch all backup plans), create (put the work in each day), connect (reach out, give, and show them your work, go for “no”)
- If you choose not to quit, you can be the leader of your own life. You will feel the urge to quit.
- You create value by changing people’s lives for the better
- “You are the enemy” - escaping zombie land is all in your head
- but your big leap must come from your passion only
- [We try to become successful so we can be happy, instead of being happy so we can become successful]
- Be happy by doing purpose spurts, but also focus on purpose arcs…
- Find spurts to generate income…
- Where does your mind go in your free time?
- What did you want to do at 18?
- Being part of something bigger than yourself is magical
- Taking risks brings meaning to your passions
- Be part of something bigger than yourself
- Failure is the key to joy, happiness, & enjoyment
- Focus on your strength, avoid your weaknesses
- But make sure you enjoy the work
- If you enjoy your failure process (99% of your time), life becomes enjoyable
- “As long as you work hard, you’ll find success somewhere along the path” [but you must work for others, or else it is just a hobby]
- The grass is greener on the other side, so go find it
- you sample ice cream, why not life?
- Adam Smith is right, act out of your own interest and everyone benefits
- Combine your vision with venture (action)
- Go for biggest bang per buck first, set aggressive deadlines
- Don’t need 10,000 hours, go for specific deadlines
- Only paint horses (specialize in one thing)
- Find zone triggers
- Prepare for the zone before you go in it; gather materials, etc.
- Block off focus time for most important tasks
- Be short sighted, plan only up to two weeks at a time
- But have a long term vision
- Respond to emails with phone calls
- Only answer the phone if it’s a close friend
- Don’t commute to work?
- Cutting off income is a shock to the system
- can create extreme focus
- Risk taking -> Learning -> Growth
- Relationship - you must genuinely care about the other person and they have to care about you (not a means to an end).
- a lot of relationships start with a favor
- act as quickly as possible & create deep relationships (by putting in the time)
- Are you scared shitless? Good, probably a good first move
- The true value of people is in relationships (emotional support)
- not in one off favors
- Snowball technique - after connecting to one person in a community ask that person if they know someone who would fit the target sample.
- Must make decisions in life. Don’t be a passenger in your own life. (Don't drift.)
- Genuine support from a non-family member you admire can make all the difference.
- Love people & use things
- Be honest, show weakness, be vulnerable,
- Tell them how you really feel
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty^
- Need your own seduction style
- Seduction is an interplay of emotions (movement is key)
- Aggressive, physical pursuit turns her on
- The more needy, the less attractive you are
- Neediness = being more invested in someone’s perception of you than your own
- Sex is a side effect of her emotional investment in you
- Focus on developing yourself first: have a life worth living
- Being authentic with yourself means approaching if you feel like it
- Show vulnerability, make a mistake and shrug it off
- Women choose men based on their behavior first
- You are bad with women because you can’t express your true feelings and intentions
- Stop people pleasing and hiding your faults
- Being completely vulnerable will result in some of the best interactions and relationships of your life
- There will be a pain period in order to become vulnerable
- You’ll learn it’s okay to be rejected
- Most of your pain comes from inability to be rejected
- A non-needy man walks directly to a girl and says, “thought you were beautiful, I wanted to come say hello.” [Innocuous lines work just as well, displays social intelligence, and are preferred by many women. But you must approach.]
- Romance novels - bad boy, doesn’t take shit from nobody kind of guy, but his rough edges get exposed.
- The more nervous it makes you the better.
- The truth is only the truth when it is given as a gift and nothing is expected in return
- A vulnerable man is unafraid to draw boundaries on those around him, what he is willing and not willing to accept.
- Ability to establish boundaries is inversely proportionate to how needy he is.
- Don’t approach women you aren’t attracted to.
- Women don’t initiate. You must make the 1st move!!!
- You can't make unreceptive women receptive, don’t waste your time.
- Oddly enough, a man who doesn’t act on his sexual urges is needy.
- The number of women you meet is a function of how fearless you can be.
- Expect more failure than success.
- The wrong/bad places will clue you in on the right places.
- Fear & anxiety is normal & necessary
- Meet women in places that share your values = higher success & more engagement
- Don’t forget the goal is to be with women to make you happy
- You’ll attract the same kind of people you act like
- connect and lead your demographic
- Beautiful women, stop caring how beautiful they are
- instead connect genuinely and emotionally
- No scale, just 1 or 0 (attracted or not attracted)
- Doing normal things != being amazing
- “Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage”
- What story do you tell yourself? Start telling yourself a new story [create a new identity]
- -> If you can approach women for a year you can forget all this. <-
- You are most likely the screwed up one if everyone else doesn’t have the same problem.
- Want to improve your life? Take responsibility this point forward.
- Why do women spend so much time dolling up? For men.
- Girls just want to feel alive! They are rooting for you.
- ->People read books to avoid action.<- [Don’t be that guy] [You're doing it right now!]
- What you resist persists, so focus on what you want instead
- If you can converse with people you can pick up women.
- Feel the fear and do it anyway, build courage like a muscle
- Must acknowledge, breaking social norms
- err on the side of being aggressive
- try to creep girls out
- Emotional connection (opening up about yourself) is gold!!!
- lead by sharing your story first
- The first impression doesn’t matter, action is the only thing that matters
- “Hi, my name is...”
- Best approaches are ones you don’t think about, just walk up and say hi
- think of a straight line to her
- but only approach if you think she is cute
- Keep texts super simple (attraction is only built in person before texting)
- Getting physical with women will determine success the most, touch early the elbow or arm, during conversations
- Best final line, “want to hang out at my place?”
Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships By Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network^
- Quality of your life is determined by your relationships
- Life is better together!!!
- Really get to know someone so you can figure out how to help them [add reaching out to your calendar]
- Be like Warren Buffett, select people for their long-term value
- Start with people from your past [elementary school, middle school, junior high, high school]
- Relationship mastery is essential to extraordinary life
- give without expecting anything in return
- You must push past the resistance
- To get something you've never had, you must do something you’ve never done
- Put people 1st!!!
- prioritize meeting people 1st on your list
- Ask, “How’s it going?”
- delivery trumps content
- Must have a life plan & know why you want it.
- Focus on meeting people through groups & organizations
- Trust is very important for more giving & receiving
- Friendship -You must follow through on actions when promised, in a timely fashion.
- ->There is a power of meeting people in groups, you’ll see the same people over & over again. <-
- If you go out a lot you’ll see the same people you met at an event or organization
- If you don’t know what you want out of life, you’ll float aimlessly in the wind
- Stop playing it safe
- No excuses not to get what you want out of life
- Everyone wants to belong
- Lead with giving to break down walls
- Practice makes perfect [speed dating]
- so plan for it [dance classes]
- Prioritize listening over speaking
- Create your new story [journal your values], to replace social conditioning
- People want to escape their boring, stressful lives
- Stick to light fun topics [play games] [Focus on going out to have fun]
- Don’t forget to exchange contact information
- Giving has nothing to do with resources but being resourceful
- With an extrovert be an extrovert
- With an introvert be an introvert
- ask their opinion
- Leave them thinking you are a great person they want to get to know
- Banter: selective hearing “did you say you want my number?”
- Fear is a self-made prison
- You must master your mind to move forward
- Opening doesn’t matter
- Remember names by repeating them
- Engage with people anywhere (like Whole Foods)
- do it every day
- Focus on making others successful
- Make people feel special & they will root for you
- But 80% of relationships is following up
- Start opening people before you go in a place
- "How’s it going?"
- use visualization before you leave your car
- Go to the bar and ask people questions
- ->Avoid bars if you are a shy person<- [It's like someone learning basketball for the first time trying to compete in a college game.] Stick to groups instead. [But remember what Mark Manson says about demographics. Join groups that match who you are and that align with your interests. Don't join ones just to find girls or make money.]
- Give phone, “let’s keep in touch to let each other know what is going on”
- [Or just give your number and not get theirs?]
- Business context, focus on what you can do to help the other person.
- Introducing people to others is the best way to build social capital
- “We have to hang out sometime! Come on, it’ll be fun. Here, give me your phone.”
- Follow up right away (within 24 hours)
- Have a plan to contact people regularly [calendar]
- Do group activity dates
- You only build relationships in person, use electronic communication to get online people offline.
- People are always looking for something fun & different to do & will appreciate the effort.
- Send out info about events (one person at a time)
- feel free to join me at this great event
- 3 to 4 invites per month per person
- Keeping people in your thoughts & taking action is very powerful
- “Champagne Thursday” 7:30 at XYZ - email Sunday night
- Generosity (giving) builds strong networks quickly
- Use a spreadsheet for your contacts & plans
- Always stay in touch regularly
- Regular emails & handwritten notes on birthdays
- Mentor - find people already successful in your field
- Casual - dark jeans & blazer, pocket square
- Throw parties - Thursday, 4 weeks ahead, central location
- Start NOW!!!
Connect in 60 Seconds^
- Make it your mission to know everything you can about the person
- Ask cashiers how their day is going
- People read into other people all the time. Be aware of this.
- People like to be the center of the show
- If someone makes us feel good...we want to be around them
- Give a sincere compliment
- Small acts of service add up, they’ll feel the need to return the favor
- But NEVER do a favor and ask for something in return right away
- When you are comfortable with your flaws people will be comfortable around you (if not, they will walk on eggshells)
- Don’t start inappropriate, but don’t be afraid to go there
- Don’t say "actually," don’t correct people’s little errors (this is very annoying)
Limitless: Destroy Your Fears, Escape Your Comfort Zone, and Conquer Any Goal - Create The Life You Want^
- Look for situations where you feel amazing, fully alive.
- Alter your break from reality, it will open your eyes to the possibilities to you
- Aim high
- Break free of your mental prison
- Success is manufactured, not stumbled upon
- Focus on your strengths (what you are good at), not your passions
- Impose your will on reality
- “Chop the wood in front of you.”
- Make a to don’t list
- Focus on the journey, not the destination
- Living on someone else’s terms = misery
- Comfort doesn’t equal happiness
- The flinch is the fear you know you shouldn’t have.
- “Fact: You can just watch yourself flinch. Act anyway. Forget the internal voice and go forward”
- [It’s kind of like when you bungee jump. Once you go over the edge all you can do is watch yourself fall. The fear is there as you fall, but it can’t stop your body now. Put that in your head next time you feel the flinch.]
- Ignoring the flinch is rarely fatal and often doesn’t hurt at all.
- Every time you give into the flinch you make it stronger. You make that path easier for your brain to follow. But the opposite is also true. Every time you ignore the flinch, you become stronger.
- “Fact: Those who face the flinch make a difference. The rest do not.”
Many refer to this book as part of “The Secret” hogwash self-help material. It is not that. The first thing this book says is...
- “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy idea.”
- In other words, the successful person is the one who is working towards their dreams
- “If a man is working towards a predetermined goal and knows where he is going, that man is a success. If he’s not doing that, he’s a failure.”
- The successful man is the one who says “I’m going to become this” and does it.
- Thus we become what we think about [focus/work on]
- But to get that dream, you must focus only on that dream and “not wish at the same time, a hundred other compatible things just as strongly.”
- We become what we think about “Because the mind, like the land doesn’t care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant.” [I think he is referring to the subconscious mind to a certain extent and the science shows this is true, but you still need to consciously work on what you want in life]
- “Decide now; what is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind.”
- “It’s the most important decision you’ll ever make in your entire life.”
- “Life should be an exciting adventure. It should never be a bore. A man should live fully, be alive. He should be glad to get out of the bed in the morning. He should be doing a job that he likes because he does it well.”
- “Write down on your card, specifically, what it is that you want. Make sure it is a single goal and clearly defined. You need not show it to anyone, but carry it with you so that you can look at it several times a day.” [I think the point of this isn’t to rely on your subconscious or the “vibrations” of the Universe to magically give it to you, but rather to remind yourself what it is you really want so that your actions will align with your desire. This will help you focus on that one most important thing in life. This is clear as he continues to say...]
- “Do this knowing that your returns in life must be in direct [proportion] to what you give.”
- “The only way to earn money is by providing people with services or products which are needed or useful.”
- “If you believe you can enrich yourself by diluting others, you can only end by diluting yourself.”
- “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create.”
Everything You Need to Know from Any PUA Book^
- Just take massive action.
- Go interact with girls.
- And you’ll figure things out as you go.
Why You're Stuck^
- “Things will not change in your life until you make the choice to change things.”
- Here is the good news: small, seemingly insignificant acts, can compound over time.
- The three keys to getting unstuck: awareness, appreciation, and action
- You must become aware of what the real problem is to overcome it.
- Or else you’ll become like the man people who lose a lot of weight to only gain it all back.
- The simplest explanation as to why most people are stuck has to do with them targeting the symptoms of their problem and not the root cause.
- When it comes to awareness, education is important, but only the insights you gain from within will change your life for the better.
- Appreciation is realizing that everything (even pains and struggles) are serving you to become a greater person.
- “Everything can either enslave you or serve you depending upon your response to it.”
- Be grateful for pain. It is there to serve you
- Imagine if you couldn’t feel pain. You would be like the paralyzed hospital patient or the one high on morphine who develops bedsore and even huge gaping wounds because there is no pain or discomfort telling him to move his body.
- “Distraction is the morphine for the mind.” It cuts off your awareness at the expense of cutting off your solution.
- Then you’ll end up with huge psychological and emotional “bedsores.”
- Think of how much time you spend eating food, on the internet, playing video games, or whatever to distract yourself.
- “Ignoring or resisting any type of pain is one of the most fundamental root causes of getting stuck.”
- Criticizing others is one way people distract themselves from their pain and end up getting stuck.
- Remember, your pain is trying to show you something. Listen!
- The third key to freedom is conscious action.
- We trick ourselves out of action by imaging a better life rather than working towards one.
- The good news is if we raise our awareness the best course of action becomes clearer and more desirable.
- Awareness, appreciation, and action aren’t necessarily a step-by-step process.
- Focusing on just one will improve the other two.
- [I try to look at it as just awareness and action. I see appreciation as part of awareness. Focusing on just those two help me to take action. However, one thing you can’t forget when it comes to appreciation...]
- ...to make progress you must appreciate that nothing will be fixed overnight. It is a process you must stick to.
Facing Your Fears
- But what you often don’t want to face is often what you need to face (and the more you do it, the easier it gets).
- To help you take this difficult first step, remember this: just as your emotions affect your actions, your actions also affect your emotions.
- In other words, ->start by taking action<-, your emotions will get better, then taking more action will become easier and easier. [Create that domino effect]
- So the first step isn’t to wait until you feel like it, but to take some small action to put you in the mood.
- If you see something as a problem, it will be that. But if you see something as an opportunity, it will be that.
- You’ll never know what the bigger picture is, but you can move forward one step at a time, and moving forward one step at a time will show you the bigger picture.
- Just how the headlights for a car on a dark highway only show what’s directly in front of you, that’s all you need to drive hundreds of miles away.
- You don’t need all the answers, just the next step.
- Focus on the next step, don’t distract yourself with useless activities.
- (And if you are waiting for a suddenly flash of inspiration, they usually come from taking the next step, not waiting around for it.)
Using Your Subconscious
- Usually, that “aha” moment comes from your subconscious after you’ve been working hard with your conscious brain working on a problem.
- While hard work will work, the best way to tap into your subconscious is by asking questions. [Personally, I think the opposite to be true. I’ve tried questions thing but my subconscious never helped me. But when I’m working on something for 3 to 4 hours and I take a break (like a nice walk outside) my brain gets flooded with all these solutions and ideas. But perhaps I’m just not doing the questions right. Try both and see what works for you.]
- When you ask questions make sure they are empowering not disempowering.
- Asking questions that imply you’ll stay stuck will guarantee you’ll stay stuck.
- A good question to ask is “What’s my next step?”
Finding the Answer to Your Problem
- Again, ask the question, "What is my next step?"
- This takes the pressure off of you as all you have to worry about is your next step. And more answers will come as you move forward.
- “...even though you can’t handle everything, you can handle anything—one thing at a time.”
- So act without having all the answers
- Or you can always “Act then Analyze”
- For example, if you are exploring a new career path, just take any temporary internship. You’ll learn more about yourself and what works for you. However, he’ll never know unless he acts (external information, like articles on the best jobs out there, give little information applicable to your situation and zero information about yourself. So go do something instead).
- In this regard, a new experience, even when you are a failure at something or don’t like it, is never a waste of time. You always learn something about yourself.
- “Remember, your level of awareness and appreciation will be limited by how much action you take.”
- What about risk with action? Unless the activity is dangerous there is no real risk to you. [You are mistaking fear for risk.]
- If you are like most people, you over analyze things. It is better to first take action and then think about the results.
- Remember, only action brings clarity.
- “If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's.” —Joseph Campbell
Breaking bad habits & Facing the Resistance
- Ask yourself how your bad behavior is making you feel.
- Ask yourself how your bad habit is causing you to lose things in your life you really want. [Visualize it when the urge comes.]
- Use genuine love, growth, and contribution as motivation to break bad habits. [Visualize it when the urge comes.]
- ->Focus on the genuine love for another when you are tempted to do your bad habit<-
- A truly selfless love that only has the best interest of the other person at heart.
- What if the good work you are going to do (that your bad habit will prevent you from doing) is the only way to really help that other person?
- When it comes to breaking bad habits and breaking out of your comfort zone, the more you can tie your big “why” into your actions of helping and inspiring others, the easier it will be to push through the pain and your comfort zone.
- “He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.” —Lao Tzu
- Start to recognize the resistance [the Flinch] as it will often guide you to your next step (don’t forget to put your focus on other people to help you break through).
- The good news is the more you act in spite of the resistance, the easier it becomes.
- This is because you gain awareness of how to use the resistance to move you forward in life.
- ->Remember to face the resistance, step out of your ego and focus on genuine love for another<-
- “How many fears would you be able to overcome if the life of someone you loved depended on it?”
- The truth is many people ARE depending on you, whether you realize it or not, to reach your full potential
- Realize moving towards your resistance/fear is in the interest of others, it becomes easier to take that step
- “The way I look at it, changing your mindset is like greasing a path that you’re going to have to roll the ball down. To get that ball moving, you still have to make that initial push.” [i.e. you have to take action]
- “What will happen in five years if this doesn’t change?”
- A mentor or coach will help you finding the root of your problem. They can see the blind spots you cannot.
- Behind all of the world’s most successful people have coaches and mentors.
- If there was only once piece of advice the author could give to get unstuck, it would be get a mentor or coach.
- We need the help of others
- We go to doctors when our bodies are bad. Mechanics for fixing our cars. Why not professional for our happiness and success, to help us get unstuck?
- The truth is you don’t have the option of not changing. The question is will you leave it up to chance or choice.
- Straightforward problems are best solved using your logical, conscious brain.
- Big, complex problems are best solved using your unconscious brain (your intuition).
- There IS a logic behind your intuition, but it is beyond the comprehension of your conscious mind at the moment.
- Keep moving towards your dreams but be willing to adapt. In other words, “Quit on the details, not the destination.”
- When the author wanted to give up, he broke down his goal into the tiniest of steps so he could keep moving forward.
- Realize there isn’t just one path to what you want. You can forge your own path if you keep working at it, if you keep taking those tiny steps.
- You are always forging a path. But that means you must also be careful of the actions you take. Even if an action gives good results, it might be putting you down the wrong path. Ask yourself, “What is the long-term effect of engaging in this type of behavior?”
- But this also means even insignificant acts can add up and have a compound effect on your life over time.
- "Achieving anything worthwhile will depend on daily, consistent effort and practice."
- Success is about striving for the finish line.
- And no matter what happens, you can always get back up.
The Power of Who^
- What if each of us already had a key relationship to help us in ways we couldn’t even imagine?
- Could life really be this simple?
- Maybe life isn’t who you know, but whom you’ve neglected?
- The main purpose of this book is to introduce you to the “100/40 Strategy” [100 People, 40 Dreams]
- Everything you know about networking is bad and inefficient
- It doesn’t work!
- The good news is a few small changes can add up to an entirely different life for you.
- “The Power of Forgetfulness”
- Out of sight, out of mind
- Daily stresses, like jobs, divorces, kids, etc. can make us forget about our dreams
- When you forget what makes you come alive, you fall into apathy
- Don’t you dream about something more than your life?
- Yet we lie to ourselves saying we can never have it!
- But your friends, your real friends (your “who”) will keep you on course
- Ask yourself, what am I doing right now to steer my life in the direction of my true desires?
- A small course correction can make a huge difference.
- Don’t let yourself forget your true path!
- “You already know everyone you need to know”
- Most people start to look outside their “Who” network (the people who love and care about them) when they need help. Big mistake!
- Don’t expect strangers or acquaintances to really help you unless there is something in it for them
- You already know someone who can help you or introduce you to someone you need to meet
- You’ll achieve your goals A LOT quicker than on your own.
- This is a quality all successful people have—they ask for help.
- King Solomon said “two heads are better than one” for good reason.
- Three R’s—Remember, Reach Out, and Reconnect
- Avoid “bunkering”—that is when you hide away hoping everything will work out
- What you really need is someone to listen to you and strategize with
- So don’t just ask for “Anybody” to help you, get a “Somebody” to help (someone from your “Who” network).
- List out 100 people from your “Who” network
- List out 40 dreams you have
- connect the dots
- That’s 4,000 potential hits, you only need one!
- Be specific with your goals.
- “Help me help you.” or “Help them to help you.” If you aren’t specific, people won’t know how to help you
- People don’t get what they want out of life because: 1.) they don’t ask for help, 2.) they ask the wrong people, 3.) when they ask they are too vague about what they want
Life Shouldn’t be Hard
- “Don’t do ‘Dog Years.’ In other words, don’t live one year while aging seven.”
- “Doing what you don’t love ages you a lot more quickly.”
- Whatever you do changes you. Doing what you love equals health and happiness.
- Giving up on love and relationships to make it to the top isn’t worth it as you’ll find there is nothing up there.
- In other words, don’t be Ebenezer Scrooge
- The goal is to quiet your mind to reflect
- Millions of people are stuck because they don’t take time for themselves to reflect
- During your journey ask questions: “What was it that I wanted to be growing up?” “Is that dream still alive in me?” “Am I where I want to be?” “Am I where I want to live?”
- Journal (even after the Wilderness Journey) as it’ll help you see the patterns in your life
- Remember, without action all dreams are useless. ->The key to turning a dream into a reality is a good action plan.<-
Birds of a Feather
- “Go where you’re celebrated, not just tolerated.”
- This is not complicated so don't it so.
- ->Don't stay where you are not wanted. Only go where people enjoy your company.-<
- When you are on the right track, you’ll resonate with those around you.
- “You’ll sense a nod of recognition from others letting you know they think you belong.”
- You need to find a stream of people where you intuitively feel a sense of belonging (Trust your intuition).
- Do that and you’ll have a sudden access to favors and help from a lot of people
- “There exists a natural preference. Pay attention. Stay alert. If you have found your ‘stream,’ if you have been accepted by a ‘tribe’—don’t take this for granted.”
- “There are people who will cut your head off (figuratively speaking) for no other reason than you’re swimming in their stream and they think you don’t belong.”
- “There’s not a thing in the world you can do about it, so don’t even try.”
- Don’t try to change them or impress them. That’s a waste of time.
- You can’t win because they won’t let you win.
- “They don’t like you...[because] You’re not one of them.”
- And trying to be one of them will make you miserable.
- Get a clue that you might be in the wrong crowd, working at the wrong company, living in the wrong culture.
- Rejection hurts but can be instructive. It forces you to come to grips with who you really are.
- A lot of people only try two or three streams then give up. Big mistake!
- There IS a stream for you.
- So keep looking for your “Who!”
Follow your own idea of success and fulfillment
- Working on paying the bills is the fast track to forgetting your dreams
- They are so tired at the end of the day, they can’t even think about their own dreams
- And before it was about focusing on paying the bills, they allowed a parent, teacher, or some other authority figure to manufacture an identity for them.
- Figure out what your dream is and don’t let go!
- People are either neutral, draining, or replenishing.
- Figure out what kind of people you have around you and make an active effort to have replenishing friends.
- Replenishing friends are always glad to see you (often because you are glad to see them)
- Remember you can’t have “lots of friends” as real friendships take time and emotional space.
- Work on building your “Who” networking by reaching out and doing something together.
- And let your friends know what you want in life (it’s an important key in getting what you want).
It’s all about relationships
- When it comes to our goals we often start with the technical (resumes, cover letters, seminars, education, etc.) instead of our “Who” network.
- Then list the companies they want and give a “To Whom It May Concern” letter for that big job. Big mistake!
- They don’t know or care about you. You might as well buy a lottery ticket.
- Landing the “big one” begins with having someone on your “100 list” tee you up.
- People hire people, not resumes.
- Do your research and find out about the person interviewing you (like their accomplishments).
- Yes, you need to have qualifications, but after that it’s all about the “Who”!
- It all comes down to the “I like you factor.” Behind the scenes, people will say “I like that person.” The author sees it all the time.
- Remember, people like doing business with people the like!
- A few tips for interviews:
- don’t split your focus. Focus on that one job and let things happen as they should.
- Finally, don’t come off as needy. Let the process take its course.
- Remember “he who walks with the wise shall be wise.” Be careful who you associate yourself with.
- The only way to have a friend is to be one!
- Encouragement is a huge gift that can make a huge difference in people’s lives
- It makes a difference when you show people you care!
- Dr. Baker showed that giving to others (acts of kindness) is the true path to happiness, not money!
- As Zig Ziglar said, “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help others get what they want.”
- Life is meant to be simpler than we’re making it
- Too many people work at jobs they hate, are in relationships that are bad for them, and are living places they don’t enjoy.
- Start to remember what it is you want in life.
- Start to step out of your comfort zone to be a moment maker for others
- Look for opportunities to be a giver.
- And you can start with the person right next to you!
The Secret of Selling Anything^
- There are 1,000s of sales tricks you can find in books—but how would you know when to apply them to your situation or how would you even remember them in the moment?
- Sure, give the writer of a book days to think of the perfect answer and you’ll get one, but you only have a split second
- A lot of sales is wrong or just bad advice: be aggressive and ruthless, be kind and positive, use psychological tricks to manipulate them, be completely honest, have a story for every occasion, go for “no,” never accept a “no,” call them at least 5 times, etc.
- Personally, I outsell everyone I know and I work fewer hours
- And I did so copying better salesman when I was younger (so it is no fluke)
- If you can understand why people buy, a new world will open up to you
- These principles will also improve your relationships with your friends and family and make work enjoyable
The Truth of the World
- Everything in life is cause and effect, everything can be explained (even success and failure).
- There are laws of human nature that explain the behavior of every human being
- The First law: All individuals seek happiness
- The Second law: Happiness is relative
- The Third law: Resources are limited
- Thus every man will use his limited resources (time, energy, knowledge, property, etc.) in a way he believes will bring him the most happiness.
- Each man will value one thing more than another in order of importance (he must as resources are limited) but his values will differ from all other men (we are all unique individuals).
- Thus every man has values he applies to his world (his limited resources), values he believes will bring him the most profit (happiness) for his unique taste.
- Even men who do nothing with their lives have values, he simply values “boredom” more than exerting mental and physical energy
- Every man is living for himself, for his own happiness
How Men Profit
- If you lived on a desert island, creating profit would be straightforward: use the limited resources on the island to create things that you value, that will bring you the most happiness
- But in the real world (civilization) you are involved with other people
- Thus you must account for what other people will do for and against you
- You might think you are self-sufficient but just look at the things around you
- What is profit? Profit is to increase your happiness by replacing one situation with another
- [This means profit has nothing to do with money. “Money is just a means to an end.”]
- One value (one limited resource) is given up for another in an attempt to bring greater happiness
- If someone gives $3,000 for a car, he values the car more than the money. He would rather have both the car and the $3,000 but he can’t, resources are limited.
- When we work we value the money we earn more than anything else we could do with that time and energy
- Since profit by definition means an attempt to increase one’s happiness, we can come to the logical conclusion…
- Every man is living for profit (to increase his happiness) of one kind or another
- Even the “martyr” is living for his own happiness. Prevent him from “sacrificing” himself and see how unhappy he becomes
- Since we live in a civilization (we are forced to interact with others) and we all have unique values, we can arrange exchanges that can make both parties happy (they can both profit)
- The car dealer values the $3,000 than a car (as he has more cars on the lot than he can drive) and the buyer values the car more than the $3,000 (he wants a car to drive and has enough or can earn more money).
- “Because happiness is relative, mutually-profitable exchanges are possible”
- The misconception of human nature: the belief that any individual is not doing exactly what they want to do.
- This is vitally important to keep in mind
- It is a fallacy to believe that an individual would do anything unprofitable to himself
- He may do an exchange you never would, but this man has different values
- For example, if a man pays $2 for something instead of buying it from across the street for $1, is it unprofitable? No. He values something more with the $2 purchase than the money save. Perhaps the time saved traveling there, the energy wasted to find out about the cheaper deal, or the attractive cashier he gets to talk to.
- [Remember, money is just a means to an end, it is not true profit.]
- “You can never abolish the profit-seeking nature of human beings. It always exists.”
- “Each individual wants to live his own life according to his values (whatever they may be), not someone else’s.”
- When you realize this you can progress to what you want in life…
How to Get What You Want
- How would you get someone (even an attractive person or a celebrity) to spend time with you? Simple, you make spending time with you more attractive (more profitable) than anything else they could be doing with their time.
- In this free society, no one has to buy. They only buy if they think it will profit them.
- Given the truth of human nature (everyone seeks profit) and that no one is forced to buy, then each exchange must be mutually profitable.
- Thus we can conclude…
- Profit is a reward for satisfying the desire of someone else.
- And since there are things you desire that you can’t produce (e.g. a Playstation), you are in a position where you have to satisfy the desires of others to get what you want.
- -> In order to get what you want in life, you have to make other people happy <-
- [Since happiness is relative, you practice this by reversing the golden rule: Treat people how they want to be treated (and give people what they want to be given).]
- Obvious? Of course, but 99% of people act as if indifferent to this truth.
- They are oblivious to the desires of others (despite it being the stepping stones to their success)
- If profit is a reward for satisfying others, the more you satisfy other’s desires, the more you will profit
- Remember, we are all seeking happiness (the feeling of well-being)
The Individual vs the Group
- We must never confuse our thinking with that of the group
- Actions of the group are just actions of individuals within that group
Consumer and Producer
- Since happiness is the object, the only reason we produce anything is to have something to consume
- What someone pays is based on the value a person gives it.
- (Remember, your “cost” to produce your product/service means nothing to the consumer. All that matters is the end value.)
- But soon you realize you are a better producer at some things than others
- So by trial and error [not reading or research, only by doing] will you move towards production of that which others value the highest.
- This is called “specialization of labor”
- When you purchase goods and services, you are signaling—and thus steering—production into certain channels, geared towards your consumption
- Producers will only spend their time producing items they think will bring a profitable price in the marketplace
- You are a producer if you offer anything to anyone (friendship, love, canned openers, doing your husband's laundry, etc.)
- So everything you do must be aimed at pleasing the ultimate consumer
- If your success depends upon satisfying the desires of others, then it is of the utmost importance to know (or at least interpret) the desires of others.
- When you approach an individual don’t laugh at their choices (they are always doing what they truly want to do), instead investigate to better understand what they are trying to accomplish
- Remember, to trade you have to offer the person something he wants more than what he has already.
- Focus and find out the desires of others.
- [Don’t make the same mistakes as the 99%. Make sure your actions and thoughts align with the desires of others, but to do that you must first find out what they desire.]
- Look around you, do people’s actions show that they even care what other people want?
- Most “use” other people. They take advantage of them to get what they want and give nothing in return. Then they’re surprised that people do not willingly associate with them.
- Desire will always outrun resources
- Remember resources are limited and desire is infinite
- Even the world’s richest people will never have enough resources (time, energy, knowledge, etc.) to do what they want in life
- So everyone is choosing in life
- Half of the secret of success: You will succeed if you are providing people with what they want
- But in doing so, we must also recognize that happiness is relative.
- It isn’t what you want that will determine what individuals will buy from you, it’s what they want.
- You can move your world out of the realm of luck and into the realm of control to obtain the things you want: All you have to do is to make it your business to find out what people want—instead of assuming it or telling them.
- This is how you separate yourself from the mass of people who just “get by”
- The secret of success: Find out what people want and help them get it!
Finding Out What People Want
- You become successful by taking the trouble to find out what people want before you determine what to offer.
- Sure there are examples in history of people who just happened to be in the right place and the right time to offer people what they wanted [e.g. an electronics nerd right around when computers took off]
- But those are 10,000,000 to 1 odds. You might as well be buying lottery tickets. At least then you aren’t having to work for nothing.
- The smart man realizes that the consumer is king and takes the trouble to find out what they want (they make fortunes).
- To make the most of your life you must: Find out what people want and help them get it!
- There never needs to be a conflict between buyer and seller (this is the real world)
- Finding out what people want all starts with questions
- For example, “Mr. Whoever, what’s the biggest sales problem facing you right now?
- Remember, you can not motivate people. People are already motivated. You just need to find their motivation.
- Trying to motivate others is the biggest mistake salesman do.
- You can’t motivate others no matter how much you persuade them.
- They are already motivated!
- So find out what motivates them
- Your job is to find out what motivates people and then show them they can get it through your product or service. Only then will people buy your stuff
- And Don’t try to change what motivates people.
- Motivation develops over a lifetime with a great deal of thought. Trying to change what motivates people is almost impossible
- Remember people’s resources are limited (time, money, energy), but if you can give him a better option to use those resources (to profit more, to be happier), he’ll gladly part with this money
- [Basically, make them say, "Shut Up And Take My Money!"]
- Helping someone get what they want is always easier than trying to change their motivations
- What if he wants something you can’t offer? Best to move on. Don’t ruin your reputation or him being a future prospect by lying or manipulating.
[I just wanted to say, while this book puts a lot of emphasis on "discovering what their motivations are" first, I can tell you what motivates everyone: Connecting to others and feeling good. And that's why people will buy things they don't need from people they like. But it's still profitable for them because it makes them happy to do so. It's just another way to think of sales, focus on connecting and making others feel good. As James Altucher puts it, “If I want to sell an idea, if I want to convince, if I want someone to like to me, I have to figure out how to connect.” So how do you learn to connect and make others feel good? By trial and error. Put yourself out there and figure out what works for you.]
How to Sale
- You can’t take the time to present all the benefits of your product.
- You don’t have to just find out the benefits they want
- Just find out what motivates them first.
- Find his motivation and appeal to it
- Remember, each person is different, they all buy the same product for different reason
- The average salesman makes a sale because he accidentally touches on something that motivates the client
- Don’t waste your time on benefits your prospect doesn’t care about. Only talk about the benefits to him/her
- Find what motivates your prospect and sales becomes easy
How to Sale - Five Steps
- The five steps are:
- Step 1: Discover what their motivations are
- Step 2: Summarize his motivation
- Step 3: Present your product
- Step 4: Answering questions
- Step 5: Close the sale
- Sales are often lost because you presented the product before knowing the client's motivation
- Don’t think in terms of them selling; think in terms of them buying
Step 1: Discover what their motivations are
- When one buys a product, they buy what the product can accomplish. Something he wants in life.
- How do you discover their motivation? Simple you just ask.
- But ask them a series of questions to figure out what they want
- You must develop this series of questions
- For example, ask them how they currently handle their accounting system if you are selling accounting software
- People want to talk about their problems (you’ll be a rare gem to them)
- But you’ll need several questions to get information out of them
- But pay attention to what they say (what specific words they use), they’re telling you how to sell them
- “What’s your biggest problem in getting more sales/customers?” (always a good question)
- You should have at least 10 questions and memorize at least 2-3
Step 2: Summarize his motivation
- “I think we can agree, then, that what needs to be accomplished is _____. Would you agree?”
- “In other words, if we can just find a way to accomplish _____, then you’d be in a position to do _____. Is that the gist of it?
- They’ll get excited once they know someone truly understands them
Step 3: Present your product
- Only present the features of your product that are important to him
- Forget all the other features your sales team taught you about the product
- But never lie about your products. You’ll paint yourself into a corner one day
- Be honest and never promise more than you can deliver
Step 4: Answering Questions
- You’ll get more honest rejections with the 5 steps. This good, it means they’re really interested
- He sees a possibility of getting what he wants and wants to make sure your product does what it appears to.
- This is not a threat to you. They just want clarity and will remind you of things you might have forgotten
- For actual objections use this tactic: listen–agree–suggest
- Listening is a no brainer
- By agreeing you never sound like you are contradicting him “I see what you mean. That is important.”
- By suggesting you are showing him there may be a better way
Step 5: Closing the Sale
- Too much focus is put on sales tactics
- If you followed the first four steps things will go smoothly
- Half the time they’ll ask you to buy
- But in the other half, you are just encouraging them to do what they already decided
- High-pressure sales suck because you are trying to get someone to do something they don’t see a profitable, yet.
- Remember you only make money to enjoy spending it (you can’t eat or sleep with money)
- The buyer is ready to enjoy the fruits of their labor
- If the buyer doesn’t initiate the close, start the initiate with a question
- “If it’s all right then, should I go ahead and write up the order?”
- “Should we call it a deal then?”
- If objections come up, go back to listen–agree–suggest
- If they say, “I’ll have to think it over” sometimes they still have questions. Ask them, “Anything you haven’t told me that might help me better understand the situation?”
- A lot of people have a hard time expressing themselves. Practicing these sales techniques will help you to help them to open up. After awhile you’ll turn pro
- Rarely do people want to shop around. It takes too much of their other resources (time and effort)
- If they tell you they are going to wait to decide, ask them for a decision date
- Before that date call them and ask if there were any other questions they had before they made their decision (repeat the 5 steps)
- Always treat them as a friend on the phone and acknowledge you are calling him early
- Call again at the appointed time if necessary
The five steps again, in detail:
- Step 1: Discover what their motivations are: Using a series of questions you’ve developed for his industry and your product
- Step 2: Summarize his motivation: In the form of a question
- Step 3: Present your product: Present your product solely in the terms of motivated the prospect presented to you
- Step 4: Answering Questions: Use listen–agree–suggest for any actual objections
- Step 5: Closing the Sale: Ask if you can go ahead and take the order
The Truth of Sales
- Selling is easy if you think of the prospect as someone you are trying to help.
- Since you can’t change people’s motivation, all you can do is help them with their current motivation
- The salesman job is not to change people; your job is to help people
- A salesman cannot profit unless the buyer profits
- How could one earn too much money? That’s like saying he has helped too many people.
- “A salesman cannot change a buyer’s desires; he can only demonstrate better methods of satisfying them”
- The telephone can be used for two purposes: getting an appointment or making a sale.
- Either way use the 5 steps
- When calling be honest, say you don’t know if the product is right for their business, you would like to get to know the business more, and ask for some background on their objectives and their current methods
- But never start the conversation unless they say they have time to talk (ask them right away!)
- If you are talking to the secretary/receptionist then ask her all your questions like she’s the boss. If there is a question she can’t answer, they’ll forward you to her boss.
- If you come across someone who is rude, remind yourself that that's their problem in life, not yours.
- Don’t be afraid to close the sale on the phone (many prefer it as much as you not wanting to drive there)
- Telephone selling is faster and sometimes people will cancel their appointments for your in-person meetings
- When calling, just be yourself—but make sure you have something profitable to offer
- How do you conquer fear? You don’t.
- To get rid of fear, to have to get rid of the condition that caused it
- Easiest way is to follow the procedure in the book
- If you are there to profit people (to make them happy), what is there to fear?
- If you still have a problem with fear, then tell yourself to ignore it for now. Put it aside and practice the procedures in this book until you remove the root cause.
- “One day it’ll draw on you that you were once fearful. And it’ll suddenly dawn on you that it disappeared while you were preoccupied with your work. And you didn’t even notice it leave.”
- Become a good salesman and the fear will be gone. So don’t try to put the cart before the horse.
- Actually, this whole book is pointing to one word “relax.” The real world isn’t scary.
- Those who can spot motivation will make a good living in this world.
- Not everyone will buy from you and that’s okay
- You’ll make mistakes (you don’t have to be 100% perfect to make the sale), but you’ll improve
- Don’t panic when you make a mistake
- Just treat your prospects as social equals (don’t look up or down on them)
- Don’t let rude people put you off your game (they weren’t the first—nor the last)
- Someone’s rudeness is their problem (that’s their ugly world that they live in, not yours)
People & Communication & Life
- A good communicator will never wonder for long what people are thinking or feeling
- He’ll ask
- “He gets problems out in the open where everyone concerned can see it and get to work solving it.”
- If he sees an attractive girl, he doesn’t wish he could meet her, he goes up and tells her he thinks she’s attractive. She might fancy him too, but they’ll never know if no one speaks their mind
- Doing a project for a teacher? Ask him or her what it is they are looking for so you can give it to them.
- Problem with a loved one? Ask them what is on their mind.
- Apply for a job? Use the 5 steps 1.) find out what the company wants from the person being hired; 2.) summarize those qualifications and ask if you understand them correctly; 3.) present your qualifications within that framework 4.) Answer any questions 5.) Ask if you have the job.
- If they tell you that the decision hasn’t been made yet, ask them when it will be made. Ask them if there is anything further you can do to demonstrate your qualifications.
How to Begin
First: Write down the five steps in order from memory [if you can’t by now write them down 10 times].
Second: Imagine a sales call that you’ll make tomorrow. Run through the entire interview in your mind.
Third: With a sheet of paper, write down the series of questions you’ll use in step 1 of the interview.
Fourth: Write down questions the prospect might give before letting you get to step 1. Turn it around and say you need to know about their business first. List your replies on the sheet of paper
Fifth: Make another list about the many possible needs of your prospects you can think of
Sixth: Next to each one write all the benefits your product has to cure those needs
Seventh: Write down the three steps for handling objections [if you can’t by now write it down 10 times]
Eighth: Write down all the different ways you can ask for the order. Say them out loud.
Then: Resolve you will not present your product until after you’ve found the prospect’s motivation
Finally: After using these techniques for two weeks, reread this book.
- Any problem you come across selling, think about it logically. Don’t ignore it. Remember, everything is cause and effect. [Ask “Why is this happening?” and then “How can I fix it?”]
- You don’t have to be a slimeball salesman, but you do have to be sensitive, alert, imaginative, honest, and a good listener for these techniques to work.
- Remember the 5 steps: ask questions to find their motivation, summarize it, present your product in terms of it, answer questions, and close the sale
- The effective salesman works with the world as it is. He doesn’t try to change others.
- Don’t play God. Recognize reality and respect it. That is what a good salesman does.
Get a Life That Doesn’t Suck^
- ->Stop turning to self-help books<-
- The problem with books is if you don’t take action on what it teaches you, it’s a waste of time [I agree, so start making action plans when you read books]
- “You must take 100% responsibility for everything you experience in life”
- Don’t feel entitled to a great life. You aren’t until you earn it!
- And stop being impatient.
- Both are stupid ways of thinking.
- “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” —Albert Ellis
- Things like TV, video games, endless information on the internet (escapism) is a way to avoid your problems.
- Step back and you’ll realize it is your thoughts and your lack of decision making that are trapping you
- ->If you EVER complain or blame someone else for your life, you aren’t taking 100% responsibility.<-
- You must realize it was YOU who took the actions (or lack thereof), thought your thoughts, and made the choices that put you where you are now
- To be 100% free, you must give up complaining
- ->ANYTHING you can complain about can be fixed by YOU making new choices<-
- So why don’t you make new choices? Because you are scared.
- Making a change takes time and effort and possibly money and uncomfortable work.
- Must most people stay put and continue to complain their life away.
- Thus, you either accept your situation or take the risk of creating the life you want.
- ->So make changes or STOP complaining<-
- It’s your choice
- Remember, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with
- And the friends who complain all the time are the ones who don’t make changes, they don't better their lives
- Do you really want to be around people like that (especially if you are trying to change your life)?
- With relationships you don’t like, you always have the option: work on it and make it better or leave.
- Do something about the situation (and complaining is not doing something)
- Same goes with a job you don’t like. Work with your bosses to make it better or leave.
- You have to create your reality.
- Don’t expect others to do it for you
- Successful people are the ones doing the uncomfortable and are taking the steps to create their desired outcomes
- Successful people aren’t passive. They take action.
- If you get in the habit of taking quick action when you come across problems (instead of thinking about them), your life will get better. You’ll stop feeling like the victim. You’ll start to feel in control. [So stop thinking about it and take action].
- It’s never too late, no matter how old you are, to start taking responsibility for your life.
- ->So take action now!<-
The 7 Universal Laws of Self-Help^
This is a book I've been working on to grab the 7 most important/powerful lessons from all the self-help books out there. You can read it for free here (it's only a draft for now). Read the book at least once.
The 7 Universal Laws of Self-Help:
- Discover the truth
- Work each day
- Surround yourself with good people
- Communicate with others
- Give to others
- Take action!
- Be true to yourself
The 8th Concept: Create an action plan.
The 7 Universal Laws of Self-Help in Detail
- Discover the truth - You too can be successful
- Everything is cause and effect
- So all success can be duplicated
- Figure out the laws/habits of the successful
- The laws of success are always simple
- Put in the work each day
- Be consistent, it compounds over time
- Be patient, just focus on the work
- Focus on systems, not goals
- Focus on the one thing with the highest ROI
- Surround yourself with good people
- Stay away from troubling people
- You can't change people, so you can't change groups
- You are the average of the 5 people you spend your time with
- So, seek good, kindhearted, happy people & groups
- Communication is the key to happiness & success
- Misery comes when people don't communicate
- Tell people what is on your mind
- Ask people what is on their mind
- Learn to listen to the words used and their body language
- Happiness & success comes from others
- Those who enrich others enrich themselves
- Put other people first in your life
- Ask people what it is they want
- Give people what it is they want
- Action is the only way to get the life you want
- Distractions (TV, games, books, etc.) prevents action
- You conquer fear by taking more action
- You only fail by avoiding failure
- If you don't like your life you can always change it
- Be true to yourself - Know what you want from life
- No vision for yourself means you'll just drift in life
- Comfort doesn't equal happiness
- Take time to answer the big questions
- Focus on just that next step towards your dreams
The 8th Concept: Self-help is useless if you don't act on it. The easiest way to make sure you act is with an action plan. Create your own action plan. Then add it to your calendar and day planner.
Did you read all that?
If so that was a lot of self-help material. Can you remember it all? No? What about most it? That's probably also a no.
(Did you notice how the summaries started to repeat themselves? That's because all self-help books say the same things over and over.)
And what you do remember you'll forget 99% of it.
Which means you'll never use it!
Here's the thing: Science has shown you can only hold one thing in your head at a time.
So where do you go from here?
It's not another self-help book. If you do that you're distracting yourself. If you can only hold one thing in your head at a time, then, logically, you need to find that next step to enable you to put all that information to use.
Is it to write an action plan based on that self-help book? Is it to talk to someone close to you so you can plan together?
Be critical here. Now is the time to take 100% responsibility for your life. No more complaining. No more reading. Plus, if you don't try out these techniques, you'll never know if they even work for you.
The only way to get from where you are to where you want to be is to take action.
That involves both consistent action and facing your fears.
So practice your awareness right now.
What is your next step?
P.S. If you like book summaries, check out James Clear's list here, Derek Sivers's list here, and Ethos3's list here. But make sure, for the love of God, you take action.